A post on the 3
young men the Lord has placed in my life as brother; and the 3 very different
ways He did so.
On Friday my younger brother (I am forbidden from calling
him my “little” brother) will get on a plane for the very first time, and I
will experience heart palpitations and pace back and forth until he’s in New York safe and
sound. I will have him call me the second he lands, and yes I have called US
Airways and arranged for someone to escort him from gate to gate on each flight. I can’t help
it, my entire life I’ve felt the need to protect Samuel; ever since I held this
mammoth 10lb 8 ounce baby that took up almost the entirety of my 4 year old
self, since that moment he’s always been my Buddy. Maybe I just knew that’s
what sisters were supposed to do for their younger siblings; my older sister
had always protected me so there was no hesitation that this was what I was to
do as well. Yet, I was never the
cool older sister; I was the constant nagging voice; "Sam do your homework, Sam
tie your shoes, Sam don’t talk with your mouth open, Sam don’t say aint. "(He
hates that one.) I don’t know if he ever saw through the layers and realized that I
was hard on him because I loved him, and I don’t know if he ever will. I can
only hope the times when Sam and I would play basketball or throw a football at
the park spoke louder to him than all the motherly requests I gave him. There
were times when I would physically put myself between him and whatever struggle
the world had given to us to take, and then there came a time when our
relationship would be altered and I would literally be asked to guard over him.
I remember my prayers so vividly from that time in my life; I asked the Lord to
remember His promises to His children and to not forget Samuel. I would do
whatever my Father asked of me, it didn’t matter. And as it is with our
Heavenly Father; He did not leave, He did not forsake. God transformed my heart
and placed inside of it a love for someone greater than my own life, God
changed my dreams filled with successes and changing the world, to dreaming
of a place of refuge for my baby brother and having his world forever changed. God then
put people in my life to walk that road with me; I never walked alone, and I
can never pour out enough gratitude to the people that came alongside me and
helped me to bear my burden of grace. On Saturday, Sam the Man; a good bit over 6 feet these days, will turn 20 years old, and my prayer for him is this. "Dear Father I thank you for what you have done in his life, and how you have
displayed your grace. I praise you for the people who genuinely care for him
and are invested in his future. I pray for his future, that he would be given a
drive and discipline to succeed at whatever You call him to do. I pray that you
would utilize his intellect and love for reading and sports. Just as Hannah in
the Bible, I give Samuel up to you. I surrender my worry and my anxiety and my
fears for Him to you and will trust that you will continue to move mountains
for your son. Amen."
Up in Pennsylvania there is a young man that I knew long
before the Lord would graft him in to my heart as brother. I remember when Nevin
and Robin Gorki decided I was finally old enough to babysit their children, I
was so excited, they were such good kids at church and I was drawn to their
parents and looked up to them in their walk of faith. Jared, their youngest,
was always such a great kid. He said please when he asked for more
macaroni and cheese, was always a joy to draw treasure maps with and play hide
and seek, karaoke, and HORSE on long hot summer days. As I grew older, Robin
and I got closer; to this day I still curl up on the stool over the kitchen island
and pour out my heart to her. So, when my home no longer became my home, it was
the Gorkis who opened up their doors to me. I already had a fierce love for
their family and now by Gods grace I was a part of it. I’ll never forget when
Kylie, their oldest, introduced me to some of her friends as her older sister and I can't tell you how much it means to me to see a photo of me on the wall.
Jared and I have a sweet relationship, see we play checkers and I let him win
every time......actually, truth is I’m terrible at checkers and no matter how much
I practice or how many trick plays I memorize off my I-phone; it’s Jared who
wins. Hands down. He even HELPS me and I lose. Whenever I call him he always asks me if I'm ready to come home and lose. I try to leave a letter on the
table every time I leave home, I sign it; “All my love, forever and always” and
that’s true, I will always love all of them with all my heart; Kylie will
always be my sister, Jared will always be my brother. It’s hard to believe that
the little boy I watched run up and down the tiny soccer fields is now a tall,
kind hearted freshman in high school, and my prayer for him is this. "Dear Father, thank you for the incredible gift of family you have given me with my Gorki’s, thank you that
I have a sweet brother in Jared. I pray that you would bless him these next
four years of high school and cultivate his heart for others into the leader of
men I know he will be. I pray that you would give opportunity for him to share
your love and gospel and he would continue to grow in wisdom and stature. Amen"
When I was 17, I had a paternity test that ruled out Option
Number One of who my father could be. It’s results left me with the information
that Option Number Two was indeed my biological father. I wasn’t sure if I
wanted to find him or not, the story I had been given was that he hadn’t wanted
anything to do with me. I questioned why I would want to track that person down
and ask them to want me again. I decided I would at least find as much
information on him as I could, and like every other high school senior with a
question at hand; I turned to Google. I googled his name and a phone number and
address came up; I wrote it down on a piece of paper, there in my hands was the
X on a treasure map of a lifetime of searching. I didn’t call it for the
longest time, to be perfectly honest I was scared a little girl would answer
the phone and tell her daddy that there was strange girl on the phone for
him. Yet sometime when the season
turned colder and I was at my mothers house by myself, I called the number. I
asked for him using his full name, thinking the middle name would indicate I
had definitely found the right one. “This is” he said. I asked if he remembered
my mother, calling her by the name he would have known her as. His voice
slowed, it was full of questions. Finally, very calmly I stated; “ I’m your
daughter” The first thing he said to me was; “ You have a brother”. "Yes, yes I
do" I said, "his name is Samuel." He then went on to explain that no, he had a son, so
I had yet another brother and his name was Leland and was 10 years younger than
I was. Since that phone call I have spent time with Leland twice, it’s hard
because he lives out West and I live down here in Dixie. Leland is a sweet boy
who at 14 is already heads taller than me. He asks grown up questions and seems
like a very serious, mature boy. He is my little Leelee and my prayer for him
is this. Dear Father, thank you for giving me the courage to pursue a truth that scared
me which ended up giving me another little brother to love. I hope that I can
be a good example for him and that we can grow up the rest of our lives
together even though we are far apart. I pray that you would reveal your truths
to him and that you would walk beside him. Bless him Father and remind him that he is never alone. Amen"
I am a very lucky big sister, to have been given three boys
who look up to me, whose bonds with me are so very different; our DNA is
nothing alike, we share only parts of each others features, yet I love them all
with an unconditional compassion and they each bless me with their unique hearts. What a beautiful reminder that though each of
us in this world are so very different; we should love one another just the
same. The man sitting across from you on the subway or in the next cubicle is
your brother. The woman who just lost her husband or is checking out your
groceries, she’s your sister. Your fellow man is someone you should love and
protect, cherish and encourage. Our Father said to love one another as He has
loved us, and has He not welcomed us in to his family, adopted through the
precious blood of His Son making us all brothers and sisters in Christ. His prayer for us is this: "I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."
S.
Beautiful. You are an extravagant blessing to these young men, and God has used you in sculpting their hearts in many ways you will likely not know until you see your Eldest Brother face to face.
ReplyDeleteEphesians 3:14-21